I am truly terrible at keeping blogging promises. Just checked the date of my last post and it was almost 2 years ago?! & 2 very eventful years indeed, considering how I feel like a very different person now than I was before.
August 2013: Before my life-changing exchange programme in Beijing, China where I learnt that I’m a lot more independent than I thought I was. 2014, post-exchange blues and a mentally challenging period of stress and uncertainty – my grades for that semester clearly reflected the inner turmoil going on during that time. It got really bad to the point that I considered seeking professional help, but thankfully managed to pull through and emerged as a stronger and wiser person than before.
Summer 2014: My first serious internship experience where I was blessed with the chance to work with a couple of interns that remain good friends today. And the semester after that, acting hero again by taking on an internship and exco position for a college event just because I had a 2-day work week in my final year. I can safely say that I’ve never been so mentally and physically exhausted in my 22 years of existence until that semester, especially in the middle of it when all the deadlines started rolling in, even broke down from stress a couple of times because everything was so overwhelming and I had overstretched myself. Made it through the entire ordeal with a firm commitment to ENJOY my final semester and be more selective in the commitments that I undertake.
Spring 2015: The beginning of the end – my final semester as an undergraduate at NUS. It’s funny how we keep saying “time flies” every now and then, and when the time really comes, it hits you like a jackhammer. I’m proud to say that I stuck with my commitment to take it easy this semester and had the time to enjoy some truly lazy days – lazing around at home in my PJs all day. Of course, the extra time came in handy to do some serious job hunting and applications, and after round after gruelling round of interviews, I’ve cinched a “backup” position but am still waiting for my #1 choice to get back to me – probably mid-way through my graduation trip to say the least. Hopefully, it will be an affirmative answer and make my graduation trip all the more memorable. But as with every other thing in my life, I try to keep my expectations as low as possible – after all, no expectations = no disappointment. And god knows how hard I take setbacks and how long I take to get back up. (Note to self: work on this! you need to bounce back like a rubber ball!) Also, my not-so-stellar module planning meant that week 11-13 of the semester was truly HELL WEEK for me with back-to-back deadlines that the inner procrastinator in me left to the very last minute. Of course, it didn’t help that I fell back into the KPOP bandwagon re-watching YG’s reality survival program for their newest idol groups and one simply does not stop after starting. It’s a consummate black hole indeed. As with all the storms I’ve had the misfortune to meet in life, I managed to weather through that as well with a tad too much last minute writing – think writing up till minutes before the deadline – and BS, truckloads of it. Somehow, the lack of excessive stress this semester meant that even my last-minute work wasn’t too shabby and I think I might be able to maintain, if not slightly nudge up, my precariously-perched on the ledge CAP. Also had the privilege of taking my final UE under Yale-NUS – Contemporary Social Theory. Very fluffy but plenty of mindf*ckery as well. And a professor with a perchant for creative assignments that I thoroughly enjoyed writing (NOW THAT’S A FIRST!) and reignited fantasies of how I should have studied harder for A levels to have entered an ivy-league college in the US. But oh well, it’s time to graduate and perhaps I’ll work towards that fantasy in the form of a Master’s degree – hopefully sponsored by whichever organization decides to take me up.
And now, 3 May 2015 – technically the last day of my formal education since my last exam paper will be tomorrow evening (I do have my final assignment for Yale-NUS due in 2 days but I’m delegating the day after tomorrow to be a writing frenzy in between last minute packing for my graduation trip. It’s been more of a curse to have such a long break between my papers since I’ve been nothing but unproductive during that time – spending wayyyy too much time researching on places to go and things to do during my trip rather than getting actual revision and work done. In fact, I’m still procrastinating now with this blogpost but come on, a trip down memory was much needed before I forget – and considering how I lost my exchange journal when my hard drive died on me last year, I need to squeeze out everything from what little brain cells weren’t damaged from excessive pollution and alcohol in Beijing.
So even though my long-awaited adventure to Seoul (since 2007, when I first delved into KPOP) is in less than 3 days, I can’t even muster up the energy to be excited for it because these two academic obstacles are simply weighing me down. Of course, all will change once I actually board the plane – maybe slightly weighed down by the part-time writing position I currently hold (okay, so I didn’t manage to shake off as much of the workaholic bug as I would have liked) and the report summaries I need to help my mom to do in exchange for all the goodies she’s buying for me from her business trip – but for now, the near future is still bleak and boring.
Life is sure going to be very different after this month and I’m equal parts excited, equal parts apprehensive about what the future will bring. But one thing’s for sure, I’ll have the strength to make it through. After all, I’ve made it this far haven’t I?
Till next time,
Felicia
No matter what I do... it will fe-nomenal! 